What I want to be

After two and a half years of uni, I have finally decided what I want to be. I want to be a writer.

Declaring it publicly is much cooler than saying it to yourself. And now, I’ll try to fulfill my dreams because I have made the choice.

I want to write.

The decision is not an easy one to make, especially when you know that you are not that good. But good is relative. I’m already a writer, it’s just up to me to become a better one.

The realisation came to me two days ago when I was interning at the hospital. Torn between psychology and media for all these years, I vowed to make the decision after I finished my internship. Now, I know. Psychology, with all its charm, is just not for me.

Maybe one day, I can be the next JK Rowling.

When it all started

Choosing to study Bachelor of Arts is a pure accident. Or I should really say, a pure gut-feeling. While having been admitted to Bachelor of Biomedicine in Melbourne University, one day before the application closed I decided to switch to Bachelor of Arts, thinking that this way, I would be able to pursue my interest in the media, as well as keeping my science background to live in Psychology.

I wasn’t thinking of writing, though. I have never thought of writing. The reason why I chose media is because I used to give a good presentation. I’ve done a few public speeches, including my senior high graduation speech, and I feel like studying PR, work in a television company, and become a presenter.

The reason why I decided to do a double major with Psychology, is basically because I’m interested in humans. I have always been an emotional being, and studying Psychology, in my opinion, would enable me to know humans better.

To some extent, it’s true.

Then, I fall in love with blogging, and I found out that I actually can write. Joining Meld and becoming its journalist / columnist is one of the best choices that I’ve ever made in life, and from there I learned a lot of things, more than university could ever teach me.

I told my friend the other day that even though I am doing some journalism classes in uni, it feels like because I’ve learned how to write in Meld and thus I’m able to do the pieces for uni, and not the other way around. Clearly, without Meld, I wouldn’t even pass my journalism subjects.

From here, to there

Of course, from now on, it would be a rocky path. But it would make me happy. I don’t even realise how many hours I’ve spent on deluging the news, browsing on writing articles on my iPad every night, and trying to improve my blog every day. My significant other is right. He told me that I have always been more passionate about writing, yet doubting myself for the fear of falling.

But what is life without a few risks, aye?

Now what?

There is one point that I would like to say: the years I’ve spent learning everything else are not wasted at all.

Why, you may ask?

Because I need to know for sure. Without really trying everything (learning science, psychology, marketing, and even business), I wouldn’t be as confident as now to declare that I want to pursue a career in writing. They are all merely telling me that those things are not what I want to do for life. My path lies somewhere else.

And as much as I love Psychology, I am not the type to work in an office, diligently editing research papers and organise a bunch of others. I hate the paperworks. Clinical work, even as awesome as it may sound, is just not me. One on one consultation using some theories that are too complicated to be understood is just not my style. As a writer, it’s always been my job to simplify things, not making them more complex.

I still have to finish uni, of course. But as I’ve decided which path to take, my learning would be more focused, and hopefully, more fruitful.

My biggest dreams:

1. Write a novel that would be adapted into a movie

2. Become a well-known columnist (not journalist)

3. Open a cafe that publishes a monthly broadsheet

4. Live a great story, and write it down

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