Tuesday’s Tale: Kathryn Schulz on the psychology of regret

This is exactly why I love psychology. It makes me understand life.

Do you have any regrets?

We often live life knowing a thousand others people who have one. We live life knowing a hundred of thousand others who tell us to live without regrets.

But what is a regret?

Kathryn Schulz says that regret is something we have done that we wish we can undo, something that if we are given a second chance, we can do it right.

Characteristics of regret?

Denial.

You will know other characteristics as you watch through the video, but denial is a very important key. Denial is the first and foremost thing that we do when we wish we don’t do things, or when we wish we do. We deny that we make those mistakes, we try to run away, instead of facing that problem. We run.

But as Kathryn says, humans are humane, and we need to live with regrets. The things is, we are not to live without regret, we are to live with it, but live without hating ourselves for having it…

If we have goals and dreams and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don’t want to hurt them or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn’t to live without any regrets, the point is to not hate ourselves for having them… We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create, and to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly — it reminds us that we know we can do better.

Do I have any regret? Yes, I may have on, or two. I may regret of falling in puppy love over my high school years. I may regret not reading more books when I have time to do so. I may have regrets.

But I also regret for having these regrets, because I know, without them, I am not who I am right now. I learn life so much more.

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