Quarter life crisis

I know I will have so many complains (wait, no, just a lot of bored readers who will prematurely hit the ‘x’ button for this blog) because yes, I will be ranting about how difficult life is, again, when life doesn’t turn out like the way we have planned. Oh no, wait, I haven’t planned anything.

It’s nearly midnight and I’m sipping my second cold cup of tea (it’s been sitting on my desk for too long), talking to random people, asking them if whether I’m taking the right course, and turning my pen like crazy (which this time fails to calm me down).

I better brew some hot water again, be right back.

Okay, so where were I? The crisis.

I guess after two nights of watching Twilight 1 & 2 and having fun criticising every cheesy bit of the movies with my sister (apologies for Twilight fans out there but here are some examples: Gosh, Edward is so white! Wait, whoa, Bella kisses Jacob? Why is Edward quoting Shakespheare? How can they graduate? They never study! Ehm, the movie is too long, let’s fast-forward it), I still haven’t been able to soothe my distorted mental health.

I have consoled myself (again) for the fact that I might not be good enough for Honours. Yes, I’m not. I know I have said this before, but yes, I might not be. With Honours thrown out of the window (except if some miracles happen and magically I am accepted), I am left with two options: do Master’s, or get a job.

I haven’t been eager to study Master’s straight after my Bachelor’s degree, so IF I do not hear any great calling that I should indeed become a journalist and pursue a degree there, I should have chosen the latter.

A job.

With everyone’s talking about how hard the job market is out there, I’m not convinced that I can actually get a job.

Plus, most of my friends who graduated last year and early this year are still unsuccessful to get an interview.

And what kind of job? Should I try my luck with applying for grad position as with a Psychology major? Should I try to go to magazines and try to get hired? What magazines or newspapers would love to hire me anyway?

I have done a quick market research: most print magazines are not of my interest. Let me rephrase, I can’t name any print magazine that captures my interest. Well yes, I like reading National Geographic, but it’s based in America. I have self-confessed myself as a hater of fashion (and fyi, there are lots and lots and lots of fashion magazines out there, even the non-fashion magazines have some fashion in them). I don’t like sports, photography, nor technology. I hate cars (I only love sitting on the front seat with someone driving on my right – yes, Australians drive on the right), and I can’t cook.

I hate politics. I hate every bit of it. That should make me cross every newspaper on the list, so what do we have left?

Well, my blog, basically. If I can earn from my blog, that would be lovely.

Okay, quit the daydreaming.

I’m not usually a pessimist, but I have not been an optimist either. I still have one year of uni (counting down 21 weeks, actually, excluding the holiday), and I’m already worried of next year instead of living this year because what I’m doing this year will determine how I’ll live my life next year.

Well well, anyone fancies a cup of coffee at this hour?

There’s no doubt that I love writing, I really do. But a little birdie told me (okay, it was an article in Harvard Business News, titled Don’t Do What You Love) that sometimes you don’t need to do what you love, because maybe you’re not good at it. Or maybe you are better at something else. Maybe it’s just a hobby, and it’s not going to turn miraculously into a money making machine (hey, you need to be able to provide for yourself, right?).

Gee, do I really have a quarter life crisis? I know I’m a highly moody person, and by tomorrow I might forget what I write today and sing My Favourite Things song (you know, the soundtrack from The Sound of Music).

Good night, self-pity, I’ll say hi to self-confidence tomorrow (I really hope she’ll come, but if she’s not coming then I need to invite her, it’s a matter of urgency).

Night people, and if you are based in Melbourne, turn off your laptop and get your beauty sleep, it’s nearly 1am.

Get enough sleep, or else... (see those eyebags...) you'll start become an owl. not. good.

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