silly little things

silly little things you used to do
worth millions more than the routines do
– “1000 years” by Marcella Purnama

silly little thing: giving food to a 'scarecrow'

I wonder how much of my life will be remembered long after I’m gone. Fast backward a little bit, just how much of my life will I remember 20, 30, 40 years from now? Will I remember my high school years? My first love? My first quarrel? My first job? My family?

Now that I’m a uni student, looking back at my primary and high school years, I feel like, I’m unable to retrace every single memory that I have. There are too many. Yet the first thing I remember about my math teacher is not his preachings about complex numbers; it’s they way he used to erase the board: with his hands. The first thing that I remember about chemistry is not the chemical equation of glucose, it’s the fact that I played Mario Kart (Nintendo DS) game in class while it was almost exam time.

I don’t remember my achievements, my prom night, my good grades, my graduation speech, or my essays or reports or how many competitions I’ve been into straightaway.

Yet I remember the superb meatball bee hon that I had every Thursday after class. I remember skipping class and going to the cinema with 6 others. I remember our expedition to the school roof and got caught. I remember pushing my friend towards the swimming pool because it was her birthday. I remember hiding in the library and not come into class. I remember the valentine’s day and how my heart skipped a beat after I saw a stalk of red rose on my table.

These videos have reminded me what I’ve forgotten. The simple lesson from a stranger, who taps you in the back, giving you a warm smile, saying one simple word – remember.

What is it?

Small Pleasures

1000 years

I envy those birds
soaring high the sky above
No boundaries, no limits
Tasting freedom I never seize

Along the way you will realize
how important the baby steps
Silly little things you used to do
worth millions more than the routines do

And sometimes soon you’ll find the truth
how prestige clouds your mind with blue
Money and fame will do lure you
with their wicked traps and mask of fool

I wonder why that time in
the crossroad I chose this route
That brought me wealth, brought me fame
but took my humanity and took my life

Redo it over, oh how I wish
When you’re an artificial intelligent, living dead
Those times you spent deceiving others
You ain’t deceive no one but yourself

Came as a girl, never return as a woman
For I’m bound with chains of foolishness
Putting a mask that never fit
An imitation of human, under my skin

Gold and reputation, I searched them all
But it was just chasing the wind, all those years
Way too busy, shooting the stars
For the stars I already had,
I tossed them all, and not even glanced

Selfish and Foolishness were my middle names
And Deceived was my first
But my last name hurt me so
Because it was Death that I face alone

I’ve done nothing, nothing at all
Never I live, living my dreams
All those visions I had as a youth
Went drowning through the pit of gloom
Never believe it could come true

I want to breathe, I want to live!
Don’t drag me to the grave, I’m not done yet
I still want to tiptoe along the beach,
observing birds soar the skies above

I’m not done yet, never will
I’ll never taste life, but death I will
But I’m not ready, never will
I want to live a thousand years
My one last will.

Marcella Purnama
18 March 2010

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “silly little things

  1. Hafsa K says:

    ‘just how much of my life will I remember 20, 30, 40 years from now? Will I remember my high school years? My first love? My first quarrel? My first job? My family?’
    I really wonder about that too!
    A really wonderful post! <3 :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s