A good cup of coffee, and a very nice chat ;)

My ‘perfect’ plan for today is to go to Gloria Jeans Café, get a cup of coffee, and study psychology (my exam is in 3 weeks =p). I managed to go to the café, bought a vanilla latte, and sat down on the sofa and opened my laptop. The first half an hour I spent on reading lectures and such, but then I was very very sleepy and I decided to watch some videos in my laptop.

I began to watch videos during my high school years. It’s funny though, seeing your friends and you in that school uniform and just hanging around and doing ‘nothing’ – just enjoying your youth and stuff. By then I was editing the videos and making them into one long movie. Haha, not good ;p.

Then my Mom called. I talked to Mom and Dad for around half an hour and then I was back to editing and watching videos again.

After one hour of editing and watching videos, I began to feel guilty and started to open my notes again. It lasted for 15 minutes while suddenly an Australian man around his 40s with his newspaper and a cup of hot chocolate (I asked him later), asked whether or not the seat in front of me is occupied. I said it was empty, and we got into one hour of very good conversation. ;)

At first I was afraid (okay, he is a stranger, you are in a foreign country, it’s not your culture to talk to strangers), but he was very talkative (hahaha), and it was hard to go back to read your notes and study while he was talking. Thus, I decided to turn off my iPod, turn off my laptop, and had a nice chat with him. It was a good decision (even though it means that I didn’t study! Lol)

I didn’t remember the first thing we talked about – we talked about so many things, from travelling to countries, TV shows, parking tickets, traffic, where to buy good coffees, etc etc. It was fun ;)

He does travelling, a lot. He’s been to Canada, America, Japan, Tasmania, England, Switzerland, Singapore, and I guess many other countries. He said the next trip will be to Indonesia (hahaha, not a bad choice), but I got to warn him about a few things about Indonesia (because it seems that he assumes that Indonesia has a good public transport, is a friendly place, yada yada yada). And it was good to hear his experiences travelling to countries (buying a sandwich that was soooo expensive, getting to know new cultures, going to Universal Studio in Japan, bad gangs exist in America, etc etc…)

And then he started apologizing for disturbing my study and he was quiet for 5 minutes or so, but then we started to talk again (ahhaha). He told me about his job, I guess it was in an automotive something, and he said that it was very busy after the hailstorm. Well, lots of people’s cars bent after the storm, I reckoned some of my friends’ cars were broken as well.

After that we talked about TV shows, and he told be about a reality show in SBS something… can’t remember what the channel is… anyway, he told me that there were a group of around 6 people that came from England, and they were quite rich. These people were sent to Indonesia (waw), and they got to work in the farm or something. And these people literally couldn’t live there! They were like crying and such, saying that they wanna go home, yada yada yada… That was interesting. Hahah. And eventually we talked about Masterchef and how popular it is. And now I know that PIRATED DVDs EXIST in MELBOURNE. Hahaha, never thought of that before ;p. If they exist in Indonesia, I will definitely believe it, but in Melbourne? Waw. =p.

His experiences with cars were interesting though. He told me about good places to park your car, around 4$ or 6$ for the whole day near the city (and I already forgot where it was, I guess it was near the Victoria Market or something…) and speeding tickets, parking fines (and it cost him around 290$, felt sorry for him), and such things.

We talked until we got kicked out from the café at around 6.30 pm, and it was a very good experience. We said good-byes and he said that it was very nice to talk to me and how he was sorry that he disturbed my studying time.

I was smiling by then. I enjoyed the chat very much, and that proves that my English is not horrible! (haha, locals can understand me… with a bit of effort, I guess =p). But seriously, I never talked like this to a local before, and somehow I was really proud of myself to actually can talk and have a good chat with English native speaker (although at first I was very scared and I kept praying that this guy is a nice guy!!!). This is something that can never happen in Indonesia. You can never talk to strangers (seriously, now that I think of it, you will NEVER talk to a stranger in Indonesia). In Melbourne, you can talk to any stranger. In the bus, in the train, in the café, etc. Just saying “Hi, how are you?” and such might lighten up someone’s day. I know that person lighted up mine today ;)

So thank You, God, for giving me the opportunity to talk to him. Aside from improving my English, I’ve got good stories and a very nice chat. Maybe God wants to enforce my plan to go travelling after the uni? Lol (I just told Mom few hours ago about my plan to go travelling!)

Anyway, that was a very good cup of coffee (is vanilla latte considered a coffee?), and a very nice chat indeed ;).


Jakarta, oh Jakarta~

Well, I’ve made up a pretty huge list about Melbourne, and I guess it’s not fair if I’m not making one for Jakarta :)

So here’s the 101 things that I miss from Jakarta ;)

  1. I DO MISS JAKARTA! lol can’t believe I’m saying that ;p
  2. Jakarta has the most delicious ‘bakmi ayam’ ever ;)
  3. I miss buying ‘bakmi GM’ take away and then snuck it inside 21 theatre and eat while watching cinema! (haha, sharleen and deo,, do u remember this?? lol)
  4. and I can’t believe I’m saying this but, I MISS MY HIGH SCHOOL UNIFORM lol
  5. I miss driving… and in Jakarta, you don’t have to care about the rules, regulation, and just ‘nyodok2’…
  6. no need to head check while driving! there will always be a car beside you…
  7. Jakarta is on the equator. it’s HOT! haha
  8. watching the cinema is for “15rb” only.. (around $2 in AUS)
  9. miss my friends. a lot
  10. I MISS STUDYING MATH Extension 2!!! (Pak Kris will be very proud of me)
  11. i miss studying bio, chem, and phy as well >.< (Mrs. Ireng, Sir Djento, Sir Abe… how does that sound? lol)
  12. I miss going to Puri Mall after school…
  13. best frozen yogurt ever: SOUR SALLY!
  14. crazy photoshoots with friends ;p
  15. i miss the time when my camera really DOES her job!! hahah
  16. Dufan, Ancol, Seaworld,…
  17. MALLS: Puri, TA, PI, GI, Senci …my top five…
  18. going to cinema every week ;p
  19. doin HSC. it’s much easier than my course now (hahaha)
  20. the good conversation we have after church every week (haha u know who u are…)
  21. my best friend is in Jakartaaa!!! miss u a loooottt karinnn
  22. the parking ticket!! (‘2rb’ per hour!!! in here it’s around 8$ per half an hour in the city!!!)
  23. my mom’s “telor kucai”
  24. i miss “bubur mangga besar”
  25. I miss “Pepper lunch”
  26. i miss “HAY THIEN”!!!!
  27. i miss going to gym in Puri Bugar ;)
  28. i miss Pola Bugar… (badminton hiqs… TT)
  30. i miss “bihun bakso” at the school canteen..
  31. i miss all the teachersss!!
  32. i miss mission trip to Salatiga ;)
  33. i miss being young… lol hahah
  34. playing Nitendo DS at class!!!
  35. tournamen (8 people) of Mario Kart in NDS
  36. cooking mama in NDS! haha
  37. sweet seventeen parties… >.<
  38. my core!! i miss going to sukabumi and go rafting!
  39. miss the fun week we have every week in core… (and free food, of course xp)
  40. Karin, Nia, Joan, Sharleen, Edbert, Deo, …i miss hanging out with you guys
  41. playing iPod touch in chem class (Risaaaaaa….. where’s ur iTouch now… lol)
  42. copying friends’ past papers answers!! (especially Edbert, for chem, Siemon, for X2… lol)
  43. exploring the school (going to the roof, auditorium, etc without getting caught… after that the security was doubled. hahah ;p)
  44. movie marathon in my room (lights out, AC on, blanket on, and 1001 DVDs on!)
  45. reading Eragon, Eldest, and Brisingr like crazy…
  46. the COMICS! Conan, Harlem beat, and the others =(
  47. watching HBO and V channel…
  48. Discovery Channel and National Geographic!!
  49. talking on the phone for hours
  50. asking Mom, “What is today’s menu?”
  51. asking Mom and Dad, “let’s go to the cinema!”
  52. asking Mom, “we should have reflexology!!!”
  53. going to reflexology once a week (hhaha)
  54. baking cake with Mom
  55. playing billiard and bowling with dad TT
  56. seeing discount everywhere in the mall using the credit card!!!
  57. “my” BCA credit card… (or my mom’s ,,, hahah)
  58. Gramediaaaaa… way cheaper >.<
  59. carefour! grocery shopping… CHEAPER!
  60. 100 free messages with XL
  61. using less than “100rb” for a month… (for handphone)
  62. my broken nokia 6630…
  63. my ex-laptop, toshiba portege!!
  64. hang-outs with friends (watching cinema, window shopping, etc)
  65. knitting
  66. eating lunch and dinner in my room =p
  67. 46 kg!! haha
  68. my Frosty (polar bear doll >.<)
  69. my play station 1!!
  70. Final Fantasy 7,8; legend of dragoon, legend of mana, chocobo racing, and other PS1 games >.<
  71. my big bed
  72. my big closet!
  73. maids.. no need to clean the bathroom, bedroom, etc
  74. blue bmw B 2604 VE TT,,, miss u a loooottt
  75. my black billabong jacket… how come i didn’t bring you here…
  76. my good grades ;p (haha it’s hard to get one here, especially when you re doing ARTS!)
  77. sleeping for 12 hours
  78. drinking hot green tea every night with mom
  79. drinking baileys
  80. sleeping in the car after going somewhere lol
  81. Pizza Hut’s chicken wings and salad…
  82. crazy sleepover at Ryan’s house…(going to Ancol at night, playing bowling, cooking fried rice, swimming, watching horror movies…)
  83. watching horror movies with Deo! (plus Sour Sally, bakmi GM, etc etc)
  84. opening 21cineplex.com
  85. playing piano
  86. playing the black grand piano at school’s chapel
  87. doing crazy ‘movie’ with my ‘bahasa indonesia’ group
  88. BBQ with 12.2 class!
  89. all you can eat shabu2 in Paregu with nia.. quality time niiii!! haha
  90. rehearsing for Christmas school’s drama
  91. student union,,,
  92. stay up late because you feel like it (not because you have to do assignments)
  93. playing ping pong with Sumi etc.
  94. Badminton PE!!!
  95. crazy time in Timezone
  96. ice skating!
  97. going to Disney on Ice
  98. Bogor trip..
  99. catching up with karin,,, (dinner at Hay Thien,,, >.<)
  100. you.
  101. having the time to actually do all these stuffs ;)

My friends, I miss you!

My family,,, miss you tooooo!!

love you all ;)

Life is beautiful.

I can’t believe that I’m going to post this. Hahah =p.

I made this writing yearssss ago, and when I read it back I feel so embarrassed, but I don’t know why,… hmm, I guess, whatever happens it is still my writing ;), and I guess…again… even though yes, I AM EMBARRASSED, but there is some sense of weird pride in it =p hahah.I’ve been thinking to rewrite it or edit it but then I don’t want to ruin my ‘perfect’ story once I was fifteen lol. so here it goes…

soo… enjoy ;p (sorry if it’s in Indonesian and it looks like crap! xp)


Life is beautiful

“Ko Dicky, ada pesawat terbang!” ujar sepupuku yang baru berusia 5 tahun.
Aku melihat ke atas, dan benar, ada sebuah pesawat terbang. Ketika melihat pesawat itu melintasi langit biru dari kejauhan, pikiranku mulai menelusuri kenangan yang tak akan pernah kulupakan. Kenangan tentangmu.

Aku tak ingat kapan pertama kalinya kita bertemu, atau kapan pertama kalinya kita mengobrol; tapi aku ingat pertama kalinya kau mengajariku tentang suatu hal yang sangat berharga. Hidup, itu indah.

“Hei, Dicky, jangan ngelamun dong! Ngelamunin siapa sih loe? Mau putusin cewe loe lagi ya?” kata Marcel, sambil mengambil bola basket dari tanganku.

“Yee, tuh cewe mah uda gw putusin dari berhari-hari yang lalu! Telat amat sih loe!”

“Hah? Bukannya baru 3 hari yang lalu loe ngenalin gw sama cewe baru loe?”

“Eh? Iya ya? Hari Rabu tuh kapan?”


“Yaaa, berarti baru kemaren gw putusin cewe gw.”

“Dasar playboy! Berapa cewe sih mau loe pacarin?”

“Yaa, buat ngisi-ngisi waktu luang aja. Sirik banget sih loe. Hahaha, tuh kan, kecolongan lagi!”


Ya, itulah aku, hidupku. Seorang kapten basket cowo SMA yang sedang menjalani masa-masa seniornya dengan hambar. Orangtuaku kaya, otakku lumayan, tampang pun oke (bukannya sombong yee…), dan aku lumayan terkenal di kalangan cewe-cewe. Ya gitu deh, kurang apa lagi coba?

Tapi sebenernya, kurang semuanya. Hidup ini terasa hambar buatku. Ga ada tantangan. Ga ada beban. Ulangan? Yah, baca-baca dikit, insting dikit, trus nyontek-nyontek dikit bisa lulus lah… Keuangan? Kayaknya ga perlu ditanya deh. Cewe? Banyak tuh yang ngantri. Tapi kayaknya ada ruang kosong, yang ngga bisa kupikirin itu apa, tapi kerasa, kayak hidupku ini ga ada artinya. Setiap hari hanya ngelakuin rutinitas biasa, ga ada yang berbeda. Sampai suatu hari.

Dia ngga kaya, dia juga ngga cantik seperti cewe-cewe lain. Tapi ada sesuatu dari dirinya yang membuatku tertarik. Dia selalu tersenyum, dan kalo ada di deket dia, rasanya… damai. Setelah pengenalan lebih jauh dengannya aku baru tahu penyebab kedamaian itu adalah karena ia hidup dengan memancarkan kasih Tuhan.

Pertemuanku dengannya yang kesekian kalinya baru berkesan. Walaupun nampaknya dia sekelas denganku selama 3 taon terakhir dan bahkan sempat duduk sebelahan, aku tak pernah memperhatikannya. Hari itu hujan, dan klub basket baru saja bubar dari latihan sorenya. Aku sih tak perlu kuatir, supirku plus dengan mobilnya pasti sudah menungguku di gerbang sekolah. Tapi waktu aku baru mau naik mobil, kulihat seorang cewe sedang memberikan payungnya kepada seorang anak jalanan.

“Ngapain loe ngasi payung loe ke anak itu? Semua orang juga tau dia anak jalanan yang suka minta-minta di gerbang sekolah kita.”

“Kalo aku ga kasi payungku ke dia, pasti dia jadi sakit,” katanya sambil tersenyum. Dengan senyuman itu pulalah dia berjalan pergi di tengah hujan. Aku kaget.

Keesokan harinya dia tidak masuk sekolah. Mungkin sakit gara-gara kehujanan kemaren. Dan aku masih sempet berpikir ‘tau rasalah tuh cewe, pake ngasi payung ke orang laen segala.’ Tapi sejujurnya dalam hatiku aku berpikir. Untuk apa dia melakukan itu? Buat apa dia susah-susah pulang kehujanan ampe sakit, buat seorang anak jalanan?

Sepulang sekolah aku memutuskan untuk pergi ke rumahnya. Ibunya yang membukakan pintu. Aku kaget banget, waktu ibunya bilang bahwa ia sedang ada di rumah sakit.

‘Mana mungkin kehujanan sehari buat dia sakit sampai separah itu,’ pikirku. Beberapa hari setelah itu baru kuketahui bahwa badannya lemah dan ia sering sakit-sakitan.

Aku masih ingat bau rumah sakit pada hari itu. Dengan gugup kutanya seorang suster di mana kamar 1523. Ia menunjuk pada bagian kanan dan akupun mulai berjalan ke sana. Di depan pintu yang bertuliskan “Fiona S. Hasuma”, aku mengetuk.

Kubuka pintu kamarnya, dan betapa terkejutnya aku bahwa ia sedang memakai alat bantu pernafasan, bersamaan dengan infus di tangannya. Kehujanan bisa membuat orang jatuh sakit begini? Kurasa tidak.

Mukanya kaget sekali waktu melihatku. Ia buru-buru melepaskan alat bantu nafasnya dan berbicara secara tergugup.

“Ko-kok kamu di si-sini?”

“Eh, ehm, tadi kebetulan lewat rumahmu, kemudian ibumu bilang kalo loe dirawat di rumah sakit. Sok sih, kemaren ngasi payung loe ke anak jalanan segala.”

Betapa bodohnya aku, orang sakit malah dipanas-panasin.

“Gapapa kok,” katanya sambil tersenyum, “aku ngelakuin itu karena aku suka.”

Aku ngobrol agak lama dengannya kemudian pamitan pulang. Tapi, ada satu kalimat yang ga bakal aku lupain ampe kapanpun.

“Hal apapun bisa dibuat indah kalau kamu menaruh sukacita di dalamnya.” Aku bertekad, aku mau mengenalnya lebih jauh.

“Ko Diiickkkkyyy-yyyy, kok bengong sih??”

Seruan sepupuku membuyarkan lamunanku. “Iya, iya, sori deh tadi koko lagi mikirin sesuatu.”

“Mikirin siapa nih koo? Pacar koko ya??”

“Hush! Kamu masih kecil ah! Sana ke Tante dan cuci tangan!”

Yah, bukan pacar sih, hanya seseorang spesial. Persahabatanku dengannya mengubah hidupku luar dalam. Dari dialah aku belajar bagaimana menikmati hidup. Bagaimana cara berhenti sejenak dan menghirup udara segar, cara melihat bintang-bintang di tengah malam, cara berterima kasih karena hujan membatalkan pertandingan basket kami, cara berbagi, cara mensyukuri hidup, dan terlebih lagi, cara hidup di dalam Tuhan. Oh, jangan salah, dari kecil aku seorang Kristen, tetapi hanya di KTP (yah, sebelum di KTP di kartu pelajar). Fiona-lah yang membukakan mataku. Dan ternyata kekosongan yang selama ini kucari ada di dalam Tuhan.

Aku tahu pertemuanku dengannya pasti adalah rencana Tuhan, and I thank HIM greatly for that. Tetapi setengah tahun yang lalu, dokter mendiagnosis bahwa ia terkena suatu virus dan harus diperiksa lebih lanjut di luar negeri. Sewaktu aku mengantarnya ke bandara, sambil menahan tangis sebisa mungkin, kucium tangannya. Aku berjanji bahwa waktu ia kembali nanti aku sudah akan menjadi pria yang mapan dan dewasa, secara karakter, maupun secara rohani. Dia pun tersenyum dan berkata, “aku sayang kamu, dan Tuhan juga menyayangimu. Hidup itu indah.” Ia pun berbalik dan menaiki pesawatnya.

Yang terjadi selanjutnya, tak akan aku lupakan. Pesawatnya jatuh, semua penumpang meninggal. Aku sempat marah kepada Tuhan dan menyalahkan-Nya untuk semua yang telah terjadi. Tapi setelah bergumul berbulan-bulan, Tuhan berkata kepadaku, “Fiona milik-Ku, dan ia telah menunaikan tugasnya di dunia, mengembalikanmu pada-Ku. Ketahuilah, jalan-Ku adalah yang terbaik.” Seketika itu juga akupun sadar dan meminta ampun kepada Tuhan. Kemudian, aku merelakan kepergiannya.

Seringkali aku berpikir bagaimana kehidupan Fiona kalau sekarang ia masih hidup. Masihkah ia sakit-sakitan? Ataukah ia menjadi seorang perawat sebagaimana diimpikannya? Atau akankah dia hidup sengsara dengan tubuhnya yang lemah itu? Tetapi apapun yang terjadi, aku tahu, bahwa jalan Tuhan-lah yang terbaik.

8 January 2008

Marcella Purnama


I titled this writing “Period.” because of its ambiguity. A period can be the end of something. Nevertheless, it can be also a start of something new.

This piece may be similar to what happened, or it can be also very far from the truth. I have done my homework, asking witnesses and interviewing others prior to writing this, yet some truths may be lost along the way. But I hope this will still resemble what happened on that tragic night.


In memoriam of Erfin Januar, Nikita Putri, and Rio Hartanto

Tragic Accident, 5 People in the car: 2 Survived, 3 Never Made it.
Central Jakarta, Menteng.

One couple, two boys, and one never going-to-be birthday girl.

It was Friday night, February 26th, 2010. Some teenagers, age no more than seventeen, went out for dinner – just usual weekend hangouts.

The driver in the Honda CRV car hit the gas. The black Toyota RAV4 driver began to hit even harder. Two cars run side-by-side, and then in one line, and side-by-side again. Both drivers showed off their racing skills – ones, that they did not even possess.

The engine began to roar; the speedometer rose higher, higher, and even higher

Pride – did not allow them to call it a night.

They forgot, it was just a game

Nikita Putri (16)

26 February 2010, 10:53 PM
It was two weeks to seventeen. The ballroom hotel had been booked. The stacking white cake had been ordered. The new black gown had been bought. The invitations had been sent.

Nikita got in the RAV4, and chose the left back seat. It crossed the asphalt flyover and accelerated more through the shadow of darkness, as it tried to outgo the rival CRV.

120 km/h.

For once, the car was full of laughter.

Now, there were screams.

11:11 PM
The left front bumper of the car hit the sidewalk.

The car flew 50 meters away, as it rolled over like a feeble bottle – for once, for twice, for thrice, and for the fourth time…

Nikita tried with all her might to remain in the car. Her right foot struggled to restrain the force that compelled her body outwards, and made its grip under the left front seat.

The car smashed into a luxurious fence in the neighbourhood, and landed on its roof – upside down.

Glass pieces, ruins, steel, rocks, blood – all over the place.

Nikita’s long black hair was stuck in the car’s ruins. Out of desperation, it was cut – to be able to pull her out of the corpse car. The force of the crash crushed her right foot, dislocated her right thighbone and struck her hipbone – causing intra-pelvic femur dislocation.

Her right ankle was never back to its proper place.

27 February 2010, 01:26 AM
Cipto Mangunkusumo Hospital – Emergency Room

The light of the Emergency Room was still red.

One person – cried.

The other – prayed.

Another one – hysterically called the parents.

…But they were all waiting.

01:56 AM
Nikita’s lover, Willy Romaten, arrived at the hospital. He punched several numbers on his phone, and ran to the Emergency Room.

It was too late.

“Her friends lost her. They have lost a dear friend.  For me, it’s all mixed. I can’t say that I’ve gotten over her. Maybe I’ll never. I love her too much but I can never say those words to her anymore… Nor that I will ever be the kind of guy that she wanted…”
Willy Romaten

Rio Hartanto (17) and Lysia Kosasih (16)

26 February 2010, 11:01 PM
Rio sat in the middle back seat of the car, with his lover, Lysia, on his right. They held hands and laughed – giggled with each other as he anxiously tried to kiss her red cheek.

It was meant to be a turn. The car must turn. But it was dark, and at 120 km/h, no one realised anything.

Until “HIT THE BRAKE!” someone yelled. No one knew who; no one cared. It was too late; the car couldn’t make the turn – and crashed.

Rio did not put on his seatbelt. What could go wrong in such a peaceful night? Anything. In seconds, the car rolled over – so fast, that the force threw him out of the back left window of the car.

Lysia’s skin began to crack open. Her vulnerable flesh was torn out, in the arms and legs. Blood spurted out. “HELP!” she screamed.

Rio’s body was stuck in the second floor of the house’s veranda. They could not get him out. The tattered remnants of his flesh and the wood, glass, and ruins – they were one.

They waited for the cops and ambulance to come, to help him out of the dreadful place. But by the time they were able to get him out, his heart had stopped beating.

11:54 PM
Cipto Mangunkusumo Hospital – Emergency Room

Lysia Kosasih, alongside Nikita, was also inside the Emergency Room. She was in a coma, and unconscious for another two weeks.

But she survived.

“Love, you’re not here… I get inside your car, listen to our song, and sit on my usual seat. But the difference is… it’s no longer you who sit beside me; it’s your mom. It breaks my heart… I miss you so much… I can’t take this any longer…”
Lysia Kosasih

Erfin Januar (16) and Nicholas Christianto (17)

26 February 2010, 10:49 PM
“I’ll drive,” said Nicholas. He slipped into the driver’s seat, put on his seatbelt, and ignited the engine.

Erfin sat beside him. He sightsaw the city, sent text messages, and talked on the phone – saying that he would definitely come to the Saturday morning soccer practice.

11:11 PM
Nicholas saw the left turn, and within seconds he must made a decision. He kicked the brake pedal – half second before the tragic accident, 17 meters away from the turn – the sidewalk.

120 km/h. The grand car’s brakes failed him. He lost control of the steering wheel, and abruptly tried to make the turn.

It was not the right timing.

The front left bumper of the car banged the sidewalk.

Four somersaults in the air; the car flew 50 meters further towards the right side.


The window glasses were shattered into pieces. The steel frame was torn, tilted, crushed. The black car paint was exfoliated.

Screeches. Shrieks. The tissue box rolled over, the handphones, the bags, the… bodies…

Shakingly, Nicholas’ hands tried to release their grips from the steering wheel. He was covered with sweat and now partly covered with blood. Was it his, or his friends’, he did not know. His heart pounded like a beating drum. A weird hum was in his ears, as he tried to gulp the diminished air.

With his remaining strength, he kicked open the car door.

Which one was up, which one was down – even the force of gravity betrayed him.

He fought back the tears in his eyes, as he tremblingly gave sight to his car. All of his friends were still inside…

No, not all.

There were only three others. They had been five.

One friend of his grabbed him and yelled, “Help me to get them out of the car!”

11:30 PM

“Shit! Can’t you drive faster?! To MMC hospital, quick!!!”

Nicholas carried Erfin, got him inside the taxi, gave all the money inside his wallet to the taxi driver, and rushed to the hospital.

A body was on his lap.

Blood – it was red. Dark red.

Never before had he saw so much blood.

A dying friend – struggling to draw the next breath.

27 February 2010, 00:25 AM
MMC (Metropolitan Medical Centre) Hospital

Nicholas was injured around the eyes, and left with a broken hand – but nothing major. He waited for news. Waited for anything. Waited for forgiveness.

00:34 AM
The news has been clarified – Rio Hartanto died instantly.

00:53 AM
Erfin Januar drew his last breath.

01:49 AM
Nikita Putri drew her last.

“…Hey, Lysia… How are you? It’s me, Nicholas. Yea, hmm, I’m… I’m sorry.”

“You want to know how I’ve been? I’m shocked and depressed. I keep wishing and hoping that this is just a nightmare and someday I’ll wake up from it. Maybe my friends are still alive. Maybe I’m not the one who’s driving the car.”
Nicholas Christianto

27 February 2010, 04:30 AM
Nikita Putri, Rio Hartanto, and Erfin Januar are brought to Atma Jaya Funeral Home. Nikita is buried, while Rio and Erfin are cremated. Their colleagues and relatives pay their respects.

Rio Hartanto (1 October 1992 – 26 February 2010) was a brother, a friend, a good guy. His family and lover mourned him, unable to let him go. Rio and Lysia’s first anniversary was coming, but he did not live to see the day.

Erfin Januar’s (12 January 1993 – 27 February 2010) departure has been devastating. His friends remembered how he used to skipped class and played soccer, or how he bullied teachers and got detentions. There was once a wooden table of his, but now only flowers placed in memoriam of him.

Nikita Putri (12 March 1993 – 27 February 2010) was dressed in her sweet seventeen black gown. On top of the coffin there were seventeen red roses from her lover, which were meant to be given on her birthday. Her parents struggled to let her go, for Nikita Putri was their only child.


Marcella Purnama
3 May 2010

Melbourne, oh Melbourne~

Hmm, it’s been almost two months since I arrived in Melbourne!!! There are so many experiences in the past almost-two-months, and so far it’s been exciting and yet funny and…

Okay, Here is the 101 facts about Melbourne (for a newcomer like me! lol, and it’s not in order so… =)):

  1. 1 hour driving in Jakarta = not so far because of the traffic; 1 hour driving in Melbourne: already OUT OF TOWN! lol
  2. always have oyster sauce in your kitchen drawer, it is VERY IMPORTANT
  3. it took me almost two hours to make a mushroom omelet, oyster-sauce broccoli, and chicken-carrot (okay here’s the indo:  telor campur jamur dibikin omelet, ngecah brokoli dengan saus tirem, sama ayam dengan bawang bombay plus wortel pakai saus campur2 haha lol)
  4. the easiest food to cook: mushroom omelet!! (although I never know this dish existed until I come to Melbourne haha)
  5. the city is full of INDONESIAN PEOPLE. you can always hear Indonesian language there.
  6. waiting for a bus is a pain. Once, i waited for the bus for 30 mins in the cold and guess what… it was WINDY! TT
  7. express trains are very convenient ;)
  8. when you go to Melbourne Central or Flinders Station or QV in the evening, usually there will be free goods handed (I got Parmesan cheese, a diet coke, and a lemon tea. hahah)
  9. always bring an umbrella even though it’s really sunny in the morning. the weather is changing in every hour.
  10. HAILSTORM DOES EXIST! I arrived in Melbourne on Friday, and suddenly on Saturday there was a hailstorm. and it literally flooded badly in the city (I was in the Pancake Parlour and suddenly the ceiling started dripping…wawwww).
  11. and yes do you read that? there’s a flood in Melbourne! (hahaha, I never thought of that before lol)
  12. suburb is wayyy better than city. it’s not crowded, at night the sky is full of stars, and it’s peaceful ;)
  13. the locals in Melbourne say “Hi, how are you?” at least 100x a day and I’m still confused how to answer this question.
  14. it’s hard to speak to the locals! (their english are wayy too good)
  15. in Melbourne Uni, in arts, 80% locals, 20% Asians.
  16. in one of my tutorial, i am the ONLY Asian there (well, the other Asian has already lived in Melbourne way tooo looonnnggggg). so out of 15 people, i’m the only Asian. you do the maths.
  17. skipping lectures are always good =)
  18. when you are travelling with trains and buses (public transports), most people listen to their iPods.
  19. Most locals have iPhone as their handphones.
  20. Most Indonesians have Blackberry as their handphones.
  21. there are people sleeping in lectures, opening facebook and emails through their laptops, and some even take pictures using their Mac!
  22. Most of students have MacBook as their laptops.
  23. Many people smoke and drink.
  24. in my driving ‘Learner’ test, i learn that “Pedestrians are always right.” But in reality most cars don’t give way to pedestrians.
  25. Parking is done in parallel in Melbourne.
  26. always bring extra food besides your lunch to uni (e.g. bread, cakes, fruits) or by the time it’s 2/3 o’clock, you will be cravin’ for food
  27. my first cake I made here is: brownies. It is by far the most edible (and i might say, delicious lol) type of food that I’ve made.
  28. Buses are always late or too early.
  29. People in Melbourne have 101 fashion styles (with all the colours, scarfs, boots, etc etc)
  30. stores are closed at 5!! (except for Thursday and Friday, where they have late night shopping)
  31. Ha! Late night shopping exists for Thurs and Fri! it’s until 8, i guess… (In Indo, stores closed at 10 pm and late night shopping can be until 2 am -_-“)
  32. I never see a ‘reflexology’ place in Melbourne (hahaha)
  33. mushroom-chicken noodle (bakmi ayam jamur) is sold for $8 and it’s not even delicious… in Indo it’s only $1.50 and it’s SOOOO DELICIOUS!
  34. Eating until ur stomach is full requires $8 (generally), in Indo it’s $1.
  35. KFC here doesn’t give any tomato and chilli sauce! TT
  36. but still, KFC here is very good ;)
  37. there ARE wild rabbits and wild kangaroos in some parks! (I’ve seen wild rabbits lol)
  38. prior to no.37, the wild rabbits that I saw is DEAD. (okay, I say dead wild rabbits). I’ve heard that they are poisoned because they breed too quickly (poor rabbit TT).
  39. Melbourne university is WAY TO BIG. it’s even bigger that Puri Kencana + Puri Inday in Jakarta.
  40. a baby girl is very cute ;) (my housemate just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl! lol)
  41. i learn how to cradle the baby! lol
  42. despite your need to eat, your WANT to eat increases 2x more than you have in Jakarta.
  43. your English is better when you speak to a person that has a good accent (hahaha)
  44. masterchef is my FAVOURITE TV show ever lol
  45. it’s hard to keep in contact with your friends TT (you need to really put some effort into it TT)
  46. During the first month, tutorials are killing me. it’s sooooo hard to speak in English.
  47. Singaporeans speak very fast ;)
  48. There are soooo many Malaysians students (I heard that they are funded by their government???)
  49. Most Asians take Bachelor of Commerce
  50. In Creative Writing subject, these people literally know HOW to write. no, not only that, they write BEAUTIFULLY (way to beautiful that I can’t understand their writing -_-“)
  51. In creative writing (again), the tutor ‘encourages’ you to write in DETAILS. the thing is, when i read a novel (e.g. Harry Potter or Eragon), i tend to skip all those details (e.g. green grass with a tall tree, with the blue sky and the clouds so beautiful as if it is carved by the wind… yada yada yada)
  52. standards of getting good marks are lowered ;p
  53. wash your clothes and iron them are way too exhausting
  54. cleaning your room needs to be done once a week
  55. heater is sooooo precious
  56. I just found out that heater exists in EVERY CAR! (even those in Indo,, haha)
  57. there are too many brilliant people in Uni
  58. hot mocha is a very good type of coffee. No more ice-blend cappuccino for me
  59. there are no 3-in-1 sachets Milo in here.
  60. I cheat Milo. I drink white Puro milk now ;p
  61. the cinema here is REALLY REALLY EXPENSIVE. $12. in indo, it’s only $2.
  62. the truth is, i still have never entered a foot in the cinema since i was here lol
  63. my Panasonic Lumix digital camera that has been adored in my senior high by me and most of my friends (it has served us very well) seems useless here. there are too many people with big black DSLR camera and the pictures are WAY TOO GOOD. lol
  64. illegal ‘rock climbing’ is nice ;)
  65. i exercise everyday, if walking is considered exercise ;)
  66. the only sport i’ve ever done here is: walking. okay, 2x jogging. oh wait, 2x playing table tennis as well. do they count? lol
  67. i miss chicken noodle (bakmi ayam), ‘bihun bakso’, big mango porridge (bubur mangga besar lol), pepper lunch, bakmi GM, bakmi Asoi, Hoka-hoka Bento, Korean food, ‘bakmi babat’, and lots more TT
  68. I miss my room
  69. I miss my dark blue BMW B 2604 VE.
  70. I miss senior high.
  71. I miss my mom and dad ;)
  72. wine is cheaper than i thought ($11 is enough)
  73. baileys is awesome!
  74. blogging is fun. hahah ;)
  75. the usual grocery shopping requires $30 (for a week, two people portions)
  76. potato chips are awesome!
  77. especially the Red Rock Deli: honey soy Chicken!
  78. no.2 potato chip is the Smiths: BBQ
  79. a cup of hot green tea every night is heaven (it’s cold cold cold!)
  80. evening + sitting on the sofa + blanket on + watching DVD or masterchef + eating potato chips + with a glass of hot chocolate / a glass of warm milk = heaven ;)
  81. anyway, talking to strangers are possible in Melbourne ;)
  82. my favourite restaurant in Melbourne for Thai food: Ying Thai
  83. for Italian food: Papa Gino’s
  84. for chinese food: Spicy Fish
  85. for Japanese food: the restaurant in Melbourne central, i don’t know the name of the restaurant… it has a very delicious ramen lol, and the gyu tan don is also delicious!
  86. for desserts: errr… the restaurant beside Ying Thai in Lygon street… it has roche flavor.. hahah,, and it’s NOT trampoline… hmm,,, can’t remember xp
  87. Shopping: DFO! (i’ve been there just once actually xp)
  88. the metlink is way to expensive ($169 for zone 1 +2 full fare monthly) TT
  89. going to uni: 7 mins walk to bus stop, 10 mins wait for bus (generally), 25 mins in bus (generally), 10 mins wait for train (usually), 30 mins train (usually), 15 mins tram (usually), and 5 mins walk… you do the maths!
  90. a fire alarm did ring in ERC library in uni… WAW!
  91. bus drivers are of two categories: the ones who let you sit down first before they ‘take off’ or the ones who drives like mad after you literally ‘get on’ the bus.
  92. there are too many cyclists. waw.
  93. in uni, sushi is the cheapest (less that $5), the most convenient, and the most practical food. plus your stomach is full.
  94. washing dishes, cooking, making the bed, cleaning the room, cleaning the bathroom, … i’ll get used to those ;)
  95. bread + butter + ceres + cheese + 10 seconds microwafe  (roti meses dengan keju) is a very good breakfast ;)
  96. typical breakfast: bread, sometimes a glass of milk, sometimes banana, or maybe biscuits
  97. in coles, we tend to buy everything that’s on sale ;)
  98. safeway and big w in QV are wayyy too crowded
  99. self-check-out counters are really cool xp
  100. breadtop is breadtalk in Indonesia ;)
  101. i think i can write another 101 facts about living in melbourne.

Hahaha, i think i need to stop writing or else i will write for 1001 facts of living in Melbourne! lol… to be continued… ;)

You were there.

I fall in love with this song – once again ;).

Somehow in the past 3 days, God urges me to listen to this song, a song that I never take much attention before.

You Were There – Avalon

I wonder how it must have felt
When David stood to face Goliath on a hill
I imagine that he shook with all his might
Until You took his hand, and held on tight

‘Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger’s snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
Seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there

So there he stood upon that hill
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill
But God in all his sovereignty had bigger plans
And just in time, You brought a lamb

‘Cause You were there,
You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, you were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there

So haven’t I learned that my ways
Aren’t as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You
There You were

Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath

You were there, You were there
During history’s darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David’s swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be
the Risen Lamb of God

You were, You are and You will always be
The Risen Lamb of God

This song literally makes me cry. When you feel that you are alone, that you have no one to talk to, no one that can understand you… you are reminded.

God was there. God is there. God will always be there.

Once again, I was reminded of God’s love, about my faith, and about His promise of being there with us – always.

In the past week, when I have so many assignments (and you kinda feel like a failure in university), when I have so many struggles and sometimes you just feel like everything you do is a mistake, when you fall again and again in the same sin and somehow can’t live the life that God wants you to live, when you walk home from the university and it’s getting dark, with the cold pierces your skin and the wind strikes your body – you will take pity on yourself.

But God has bigger plans for me.

He will never give up on me, if I’m not giving up on Him.

and I will never, ever give up on Him.

I believe that God is with me, through my every step.

He was there with me when I was doing my assignments.

He was there with me when I waited on the bus for 30 minutes in the cold.

He was there with me when I felt like a failure and did something wrong.

and He is here with me – He understands me. He loves me.

You were, You are, and You will always be!

love You, Lord.

Judge, Judge, Judge!!!

Why do I always judge people?

Why do I always think myself better than the others?

Judging, judging, and judging, even though I know the truth?

I judge people from their appearances. I judge people from their behaviours. I judge people from other stereotypes. I judge, I judge, and I judge. Why must I judge? It’s not even my place to judge! only God has the authority to judge people! (and yet He didn’t even do it with Peter, who denied Jesus for three times). WHY?

I don’t even know the others that well, and I have judged them – sometimes badly.

Luke 6:41-42 says that:

41“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 42How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

But it’s hard…

and the best part is – when I judge people, I tend to compare myself with them, and think that I’m better.

I’m no better than  a fool.

I see the person A going to church, listening to the sermon and such, and when I see them doing something that for me it’s not a Christian thing to do; I judge.

I see the person B saying that he/she goes to have some drink and such; I judge.

I see the person C saying that he/she is a Christian, but talking things and not serious in searching God; I judge.

I know the person D, and when I see his/her characteristic, I will develop a false mindset; I judge.

I see a group of people, doing some sorts of things; I judge.

and I judge.

Humans are not perfect. If otherwise, we don’t need Jesus to save us from sin.

Humans make mistakes. Humans learn from mistakes. Humans can change.

I don’t want to judge people anymore… although sometimes I do it unconsciously. I’m tired and sick of it. Sometimes I’m sick of myself. of judging. of thinking things that I should not. It’s not my place, never will be mine, and it’s none of my concern – none of my business anyway.

My pride – I need God to crush it all.

I don’t want to be a person that lives a double life – the kind of person who wears a mask.

This is me, Lord. Forgive me. Shape me.

Never give up on me, Lord.