It’s your mission. It’s my mission. It’s everybody’s mission.

The gospel.

When Pastor Jiggu Bogi got up there and said that he’s going to talk about missions, I feel that God keeps reminding me of some things.

During this past month I’ve been reading a book about eternity, salvation, judgment, and hell, but I never really live up those faith. No actions. Nothing. I am ‘wearing a mask that never fits, an imitation of human under my skin.’

And this is my story.

Before I went to Australia to study, I was in Singapore for around a week, and now I believe that it is not a coincidence. I went to Bethany church service and the pastor said that, “Young people, it’s time to GET SERIOUS with God. If you never really be serious with God, now it’s the time for you to change.” That was my slap. I never took God seriously before.

Oh yes, I do go to church, I pray everyday, I read my Bible, and I say that I love God. I praise Him, and worship Him. But I was never 100% serious. I still compromise with sins, and live my life for myself. So right there, at that very moment, I decided to get straight with God. No more playing, no more in the ‘grey’ side. I want to get serious.

Soon after I went to Australia for further study, and I began to read the book “Driven by Eternity” by John Bevere. From that book I began to be reminded about the concept of salvation, judgment, hell, and eternity. I know these stuffs before – but I never really thought about it until this past month. It came very vivid to me that we are called – to preach the gospel.

Not long after that the pastor in IPC (Indonesian Praise Center, the church I am going in Melbourne), preached about the ‘gatekeeper of hell’. Yes, I know that all non-believers that do not know Jesus will go to hell. But, I never really thought about that. I always think that, there will be always another day to talk about Jesus. There will always be tomorrow to talk to them. Let other people (e.g. the pastors) do the preaching, I am not obliged to share the gospel to them. But I was wrong.

We are the gatekeepers. You know those people – your friends, your lovers, your parents, your families, your colleagues, whoever they are – if they don’t believe in Jesus, if they don’t believe in the gospel – they are going to hell. We are the gatekeepers of hell. How come I am actually letting them pass, and not pull them away? How come that I actually KNOW THAT THEY ARE GOING TO HELL, but not even once I TELL THEM ABOUT THE TRUTH?

Even in the radio, I heard about the salvation and the judgment day. In the cell group, I am reminded of the salvation again. Again and again and again, I’ve been reminded to all these things – but yet I never respond correctly.

Today, it was the peak. When pastor Jiggu Bogi got there and said that it is our mission to share the gospel – it struck me, again. The preaching of gospel (he summaries it to 5 points: 1. God loves us so much. 2. Everyone has fallen short before the Lord. 3. God gave His only Son to die on the cross so that our sin can be forgiven. 4. Jesus was raised from death. 5. If we believe in Jesus, we can be forgiven from our sins and receive salvation) is OUR JOB.

…There was a session regarding the Holy Spirit, and I guess, this became very personal to me.

I am a person that always wants to be other people. When I see those people who have talents in music, in singing, in dancing, in multimedia, in preaching, etc; I want to be like them. I always think that, “Lord, I want to do everything for You, but I can’t do anything. They can sing, they can preach, let them do the work. If I have all those talents then I can serve You.”

The point is, if I am someone who’s ‘big’, then I can serve the Lord.

Never once I saw the gifts that I have within me.

Never once I thought of being faithful towards the little things.

I am a person that always judges others; a person that thinks that, ‘I am better than the others’. I live as if I’m going to live forever – that I can never die. But who am I, really?

Just a vapor in the wind, nothing.

I am a person that always asks for the Holy Spirit to come, for the Lord to do His ways in my life. But I never search for Him. I only ask Him to come, to bless me, to live inside my life; but I never search Him. And today, it hits me – hard.

What right do I have to call myself a CHRISTIAN, but I’ve never done anything for the Lord?

What right do I have to say that ‘I LOVE YOU, LORD’, but yet I don’t do what His heart desires?

What right do I have to call myself a CHRISTIAN, but yet I see those people going to the gates of hell, and not tell the truth?

Am I ashamed? Ashamed of the gospel? Ashamed of God?

Am I afraid? Afraid that people will think of me as ‘weirdo’ or something?

Am I too busy? Too busy doing things FOR MYSELF, and neglect the others?

If God says tonight, “My daughter, your time is up,” what will I say to Him?


I have all those opportunities – in church, in universities, in buses, anywhere – but yet I sit and do nothing. Their bloods are dripping off my hands. Their souls are going to the gates of hell, and yet I’m not doing anything to stop them.

What right do I have to call myself a CHRISTIAN?

The good news is, I am still alive today. God has given me another chance.

…And you know what? it’s a process.

You can’t get straight in one day; it takes time.

But when you make a decision to give your life to God – that’s your start.

Start with the little things.

I want to give the driver’s seat to God. I want to be what God wants me to be – whatever that is. I want to live God’s purpose in my life.

I don’t want God to pass me by.

I don’t want God to be finished with me.

And who says that it’s going to be easy? It won’t! The path to heaven is narrow, and it’s difficult.

But I want to love God. And loving God means hating what He hates, and loving what He loves.

I want to be a candle in the dark. To shine the light – and send it on.

…I love You, Lord. Yes, I do. Sometimes I’m afraid, sometimes I’m ashamed; I ask for forgiveness. Forgive me, Lord. And please, don’t pass me by. Don’t be finished with me. Please Father, I know that I’m falling over and over again, but, don’t ever give up on me. I don’t want to give up. I want to live the life You want me to live. I don’t want anyone else is called because I’m not fulfilling my callings. I want to live my life for You. I am giving You the driver’s seat – the steering wheel. I know there will be times when I pull the handbrake or force a turn but please Lord, bear with me. Never give up on me.

Thank You, Lord.

I am a gatekeeper.

I am going to act like one.

But not me, it will be the Holy Spirit who lives within me.

I want to be a servant of the Lord.

I don’t want this to be just ‘one-day contract’ with the Lord.

I want it to be a ‘lifetime contract’.

But I can’t do this alone. I need God, and all of you – to keep reminding me.




5 thoughts on “Gatekeepers.

  1. Andrew says:

    Very good ella… well done!… ayooo kita ambil tanggung jawab as a gatekeeper!.. hwaiting!! =D

  2. The Skeptic says:

    But how about Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, non believers and the followers of countless other faiths in this world? What will happen to them?

  3. People are free to choose what to believe in, but you will know the difference once you know the reason why I’m posting this. I am not in the place to answer the question, only God is. :)

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