bragging

Tell the mirror, “Bragging is not cool, dude.”

Don’t brag about yourself, let others praise you.

Proverbs 27:2

You see, everyone hates people who brag. But people brag, right? I mean, name me one person who never brags about themselves. Well, maybe you know one, or two. Or even many. But… Most people want to get known. At least I do.

And sometimes bragging is not done through a very provoking move. It’s not like, “Hey, hey, look at me, I can do this, this, this, and that!” No, people nowadays are more subtle. They don’t update their Facebook updates into “Oh, I got a job at X!” Nope. Instead, they write, “Thank God for the opportunity!” or “Today’s my lucky day!” Then friends will start swarming the comments, saying, “Congrats! So what happened?”

Isn’t it a very good way to brag?

And I do that. I’ve updated my Facebook “about” page accordingly. A journalist at Meld Magazine, check. A service staff at Laurent, check. A barista at Travancore cafe, check. A blogger at Farrago, check. An intern at Royal Children’s Hospital, check.

What’s the use anyway?

So people will know. So people will notice.

The day before I started my internship, I specifically shared an image which says, “When is the last time you do something new?” And on the comment I wrote, “tomorrow”. Pretty straight-forward, huh? Then everyone started to ask me on what would I be doing tomorrow. And since people ask, and I’m not the one who declares publicly on what I’m doing, that’s not considered bragging, right? Ehm, no, not really.

I think there’s a desire inside me that always want to be known by others. So when they hear my name, they will remember that, “Oh, she has done something worthwhile with her life. She is able to get much experience.”

Now, I feel like it’s a stupid move. The best thing happens when other people brag about you. But all people are too busy bragging about themselves, who will brag about me? No one but myself, of course. That’s why people brag about themselves, because no one will brag about them.

I don’t like to see a bragger, but I’m one of them.

I can’t help it when chatting with one person who can’t stop talking about himself, telling me about his experience here, his experience there, and that he has done this and that (without I’m asking, of course, there are some occasions when I really want to know more about their experiences), but in fact, I’ve done it myself.

I hate it when people try to look smart and try to bestow their life advices on me, again and again, but I used to do it.

Now, I kinda look like a hypocrite.

So here’s the million dollar question: when I write on my blog, do I write it from my heart with a pure, genuine motive, or do I partly write it because I want to look good?

I hope I’m not the latter, but each time I write a post I ask myself, “Why do I write this post? Will this benefit the readers in one way or another?” If by sharing my experiences, the readers can learn from it and know that they are not alone – I have gone through exactly the same issues before, then it’s worth writing.

But if it’s just for my ego boosting, no, it’s not worth writing.

Most often in life I need my brain to literally scream to my tongue that I need to talk less about myself. More listening to others, less telling them that you’ve been in their shoes and have mastered the issues successfully. More asking questions about their lives, less telling your work and internship experiences.

More them, less you, and most importantly, less preachy you.

There’s a thin red line between bragging, and being proud of yourself. Having pride is good, healthy even, if it’s done in a correct way. Bragging, is never healthy. It just simply means you are insecure about yourself and what you have accomplished, so that you need to tell others in order for them to admire you.

But a thousand praises will not quench your thirst of being famous. The secret is to truly accept who you are, whoever you are. The key to make people brag about you is modesty.

And both self-acceptance and modesty do not search for fame.

I know, I’ve been there. And I’m still learning.

Do you hate those who brag? Or do you secretly still occasionally do it yourself? Share your thoughts below.